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She texted me "I think I've gained weight.. Do you think I am fat and look like a Cow?
I wanted to type 'Noooooooooo' but damn Auto correct Changed it to 'Mooooooooooo'
Sigh!........ single again!
Silvio, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at the shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'
'I'm Italian and I am a Cyclist ....' says Silvio, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out Cycling up and down the highways. I have a glass of vino and all is well.'
'Well....' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?'
'Who said my Father's dead?'
The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'
'He's 102 years old,' says Silvio. 'he Cycled with me this morning, went to the beach for a walk, had a little vino and that's why he's still alive.
Italian ....... Cyclist......
'Well....' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'
'Who said my Nonno's dead?'
Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living? Incredible!! How old is he?'
'He's 123 years old,' says the Old Italian Cyclist.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went Cycling with you this morning too?'
'No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'
At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 123 year- old guy want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to get married.... He had to !!!!!!!
......THE GIRL GOT PREGNANT!!'
Never quit Cycling and Wine.
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Girl Jokes
He touched the vehicle forward some inches, reversed a bit then remained still for some a lot of minutes as some a lot of of the opposite patrons' vehicles left. Finally, once his was the sole automobile left within the parking zone, he force out and drove slowly down the road. The law officer, having waited with patience all this point, currently started up his motorcar, placed on the flashing lights, promptly force the person over and administered a device take a look at. To his astonishment, the device indicated no proof that the person had consumed any alcohol at all! stupefied, the officer aforementioned, 'I'll ought to raise you to accompany Pine Tree State to the police headquarters. This device instrumentality should be broken.' 'I seriously doubt it', aforementioned the really proud bushwhacker. 'Tonight i am the selected decoy.' Sex Offenders I see wherever the American state Department of Corrections has instituted some innovative programs to vary the behavior of prisoners. Down within the prison house in Huntsville they have been terribly flourishing in treating sex offenders. What they are doing is this: they provide the prisoners footage of K colleen ladies which cures them of all sexual needs.
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Girl Jokes
He touched the vehicle forward some inches, reversed a bit then remained still for some a lot of minutes as some a lot of of the opposite patrons' vehicles left. Finally, once his was the sole automobile left within the parking zone, he force out and drove slowly down the road. The law officer, having waited with patience all this point, currently started up his motorcar, placed on the flashing lights, promptly force the person over and administered a device take a look at. To his astonishment, the device indicated no proof that the person had consumed any alcohol at all! stupefied, the officer aforementioned, 'I'll ought to raise you to accompany Pine Tree State to the police headquarters. This device instrumentality should be broken.' 'I seriously doubt it', aforementioned the really proud bushwhacker. 'Tonight i am the selected decoy.' Sex Offenders I see wherever the American state Department of Corrections has instituted some innovative programs to vary the behavior of prisoners. Down within the prison house in Huntsville they have been terribly flourishing in treating sex offenders. What they are doing is this: they provide the prisoners footage of K colleen ladies which cures them of all sexual needs.For more jokes go to: LIST OF JOKES
